Today I'm changing gears on talking about my kids. Today is the day I work on me and making myself accountable! Today is the day I come clean and make changes in myself. I have went to long without making myself accountable! So here we go, putting the truth out there for everyone to see and read in black and white.
My highest weight was 340lbs! That is right! 340 lbs! I can't believe that it has gotten this far. Well yes I can, I put everyone above myself, everyone else is first but me. But I have went wrong some where. In the past year I lost almost 50 lbs. Then 2 months ago, my diabetes got out of control because again I wasn't being accountable. I started eating crap, I thought I could save money by eating the way I was. Did I save money, well yes I did. However, at what cost was I saving money. Obliviously it was at the cost of my health.
My life was in the way of me taking care of me. But isn't that what a good mom does? Takes care of everyone? Well no doubt I'm a good mom and I'm an alright wife but what about me? Can I change these habits of giving myself away? Well I don't know how much I can but I'm going to give it a shot! So by the grace of God and the support of no one, I'm changing!
So here I go; again, 340 lbs, now gaining weight, I'm back up to 297.5, that is a 5.7 weight gain! So I'm going to use my Wii. I set a goal of losing 4 lbs in 2 weeks. I want to start out slow because I don't want to set myself up for failure.
Medical issues: kidney disease (born with it), high blood pressure (because of the kidney's), walls of heart have hardened (because of the years of high blood pressure), gout, diabetes, back deformity, scoliosis, knee injury when I was 7, 3 really bad pregnancies, and lots of meds.
Goals: I want to take this list down as much as possible and live a healthy life, I want to be able to lift my daughter as she grows, I want to be able to play and work out with my son and husband.
So here I go, eating healthy and exercising. Please say some prayer for me!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Is It Still the Same?
Is it still the same? That is a yes and no answer! So we have decided to make a change in our homeschooling program. I feel that we are still homeschooling though. Tyler is going to be going to virtual school for his 8th grade year. It is through the State of Kansas and it is sponsored by USD 397. I will still have him work on things that they don't offer like bible study. We are needing a positive change and I think that this is going to be it. I have been doing this for a while with little support in my home or from family. So we all think that having a teacher, a tutor, and the school district is going to be a positive change. They are willing to work with our crazy schedule and he can work at his own pace.
Tyler is really excited! We get to go the school for orientation this coming Wednesday. He gets a free lap top and printer. We get to meet the teachers and learn more about the in's and out's of what he is going to have to do. The school will host different activities that we will be able to go to also. We think that this is a great positive change that is going to change all of our lives. Mainly we are hoping that it is going to help give Tyler more responsibilities to help him grow as a young man. I hope that everyone out there has a great school year to come and is as excited as we are!!
Here is the informational wed site for the school if anyone is interested.....
http://www.kansasonlinelearning.org/index.html
Tyler is really excited! We get to go the school for orientation this coming Wednesday. He gets a free lap top and printer. We get to meet the teachers and learn more about the in's and out's of what he is going to have to do. The school will host different activities that we will be able to go to also. We think that this is a great positive change that is going to change all of our lives. Mainly we are hoping that it is going to help give Tyler more responsibilities to help him grow as a young man. I hope that everyone out there has a great school year to come and is as excited as we are!!
Here is the informational wed site for the school if anyone is interested.....
http://www.kansasonlinelearning.org/index.html
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Looking Normal and Looking Different
I have noticed years ago from strangers, to friends and family that if you look different you get treated different and if you look normal and act different you get treated different. I wish we lived in a world where looks didn't matter. It isn't just beauty that people look at and desire. It is something that you have to be but also act. Please someone stop that person from acting different now! That is how I feel people view my beautiful children.
My son has sensory integration. This is one of the many terrible things that a child can have. For him it is constant over stimulation and disorganized feelings and thoughts. Wouldn't you feel out of control if you felt this way? Can you imagine hearing everything all at once in the room you are in now and still have to work or concentrate? You hear the a/c, the fan, the clock, someone moving around inside and outside your room, a pencil drop, papers moving around, chairs moving. How would you feel? Could you concentrate? Could you function in a world like that? This is stuff that my son has to deal with every day. That is only one aspect of it. When someone brushes up next to him it feels like a push. Please don't get my started on his clothes and how they have to be big so that they aren't to tight or when he watches T.V. he has his head cocked to the side because it is to much input for his brain. He is labeled a bad kid because he acts out and gets hyper because he LOOKS normal. Shouldn't he be normal if he looks normal? Those are questions that I get asked or at least that is what people look at me and I imagine that they are asking when I get dirty looks. I want to yell at them "HE CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!"
My beautiful daughter. Who couldn't love a face like that? Seriously!??? Beautiful blue eyes, long dark eye lashes, beautiful fair skin, she is gorgeous! But the looks that we get from everyone in the community is enough to drive someone crazy. I try to protect her from those insensitive gazers by turning her around. I'm talking about children who don't know better to senior citizens who should know better. But she is 7 and in a stroller, her feet don't look normal, her eyes don't look normal, and she don't act normal. She acts like a baby, she has had surgery on her eyes and people think that she is always tired. Her feet and legs don't look normal because of surgeries too and that is the first things you see poking out of her stroller. So the staring starts. Praise the Lord for her not understanding and seeing the way people stare at her! I even had a teenager that kept turning around staring at her one day and I looked at her and I said "honey, it's ok, she is disabled." What was bad is that her mother walking with her was so into what she was doing she didn't see and correct her from what she was doing. I know that it is different that she was a 1 lb baby, that she has had more surgeries in 7 yrs than most have in a life time, that she communicates differently. I know all of this! But that doesn't mean that people should stare! She is a loving, fun, silly, beautiful girl that loves going to get her hair done, shopping, swimming, and loves hugs and kisses! She is funny and she will try to get you back if you get her. She also likes her private time and likes to be left alone sometimes, but seriously what girl doesn't sometime?
The point of my ever long rant is that it doesn't matter what is on the outside because everyone is different on the inside. We are all creatures of God and he made us in his image, that makes us all beautiful on the inside and outside! I also pray that everyone gains empathy and understanding of everyone else in this world!
My son has sensory integration. This is one of the many terrible things that a child can have. For him it is constant over stimulation and disorganized feelings and thoughts. Wouldn't you feel out of control if you felt this way? Can you imagine hearing everything all at once in the room you are in now and still have to work or concentrate? You hear the a/c, the fan, the clock, someone moving around inside and outside your room, a pencil drop, papers moving around, chairs moving. How would you feel? Could you concentrate? Could you function in a world like that? This is stuff that my son has to deal with every day. That is only one aspect of it. When someone brushes up next to him it feels like a push. Please don't get my started on his clothes and how they have to be big so that they aren't to tight or when he watches T.V. he has his head cocked to the side because it is to much input for his brain. He is labeled a bad kid because he acts out and gets hyper because he LOOKS normal. Shouldn't he be normal if he looks normal? Those are questions that I get asked or at least that is what people look at me and I imagine that they are asking when I get dirty looks. I want to yell at them "HE CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!"
My beautiful daughter. Who couldn't love a face like that? Seriously!??? Beautiful blue eyes, long dark eye lashes, beautiful fair skin, she is gorgeous! But the looks that we get from everyone in the community is enough to drive someone crazy. I try to protect her from those insensitive gazers by turning her around. I'm talking about children who don't know better to senior citizens who should know better. But she is 7 and in a stroller, her feet don't look normal, her eyes don't look normal, and she don't act normal. She acts like a baby, she has had surgery on her eyes and people think that she is always tired. Her feet and legs don't look normal because of surgeries too and that is the first things you see poking out of her stroller. So the staring starts. Praise the Lord for her not understanding and seeing the way people stare at her! I even had a teenager that kept turning around staring at her one day and I looked at her and I said "honey, it's ok, she is disabled." What was bad is that her mother walking with her was so into what she was doing she didn't see and correct her from what she was doing. I know that it is different that she was a 1 lb baby, that she has had more surgeries in 7 yrs than most have in a life time, that she communicates differently. I know all of this! But that doesn't mean that people should stare! She is a loving, fun, silly, beautiful girl that loves going to get her hair done, shopping, swimming, and loves hugs and kisses! She is funny and she will try to get you back if you get her. She also likes her private time and likes to be left alone sometimes, but seriously what girl doesn't sometime?
The point of my ever long rant is that it doesn't matter what is on the outside because everyone is different on the inside. We are all creatures of God and he made us in his image, that makes us all beautiful on the inside and outside! I also pray that everyone gains empathy and understanding of everyone else in this world!
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Ups and Downs of Home schooling!
For those who don't homeschool and they don't like that I'm homeschooling Tyler, I thought that I would discuss what the ups and downs are for us. For lets talk about the ups!!!
1. We get to choose what he learns (Christian compared to evolution)
2. If there is an emergency with Sara, we don't have to figure out everything with him missing school, who will pick him up, where will he go after, how he will get back everyday, what happens when he get behind, how to get caught up, will he get held back because of all of it.
3. I get to see the look on his face when he learns something new.
4. If he get behind we have all the time in the world to work on getting caught up.
5. He get experiences that most other kids don't get, he get to meet and talk to people of all ages, not just kids his age on an everyday bases.
6. He gets a one on one education that I believe all kids have the right to when they need it!
The downs!
1. He doesn't have to options to play sports for his school
Ok other than that I really can't think of anything. I sure that someone else who doesn't have a lot of experiences with home schooling would see socialization as an issue but maybe if they took the time to talk to other homeschoolers and research the issue maybe they wouldn't see it as a big deal. I think that socialization is a case by case thing and that it is up to the parents to make sure that it isn't an issue for their family. There are many things that you can do with your kids in order to make sure that they are health and a well rounded and adjusted child! For those who homeschool good luck, keep your head up and remember that there are places to turn for anything that is on your mind!
I know that there are some that still look at the things that they think a child will miss in school. Some would say sporting events, I say in turn after football parties with drinking and drugs. Some would say prom, I would say, peer pressure to have sex and drinking and drugs again. It is a very personal choice to homeschool and for me if I'm shielding him from prom and parties I would say that I would lay down my life to protect him from those things and the peer pressure of life as a teen in our society.
1. We get to choose what he learns (Christian compared to evolution)
2. If there is an emergency with Sara, we don't have to figure out everything with him missing school, who will pick him up, where will he go after, how he will get back everyday, what happens when he get behind, how to get caught up, will he get held back because of all of it.
3. I get to see the look on his face when he learns something new.
4. If he get behind we have all the time in the world to work on getting caught up.
5. He get experiences that most other kids don't get, he get to meet and talk to people of all ages, not just kids his age on an everyday bases.
6. He gets a one on one education that I believe all kids have the right to when they need it!
The downs!
1. He doesn't have to options to play sports for his school
Ok other than that I really can't think of anything. I sure that someone else who doesn't have a lot of experiences with home schooling would see socialization as an issue but maybe if they took the time to talk to other homeschoolers and research the issue maybe they wouldn't see it as a big deal. I think that socialization is a case by case thing and that it is up to the parents to make sure that it isn't an issue for their family. There are many things that you can do with your kids in order to make sure that they are health and a well rounded and adjusted child! For those who homeschool good luck, keep your head up and remember that there are places to turn for anything that is on your mind!
I know that there are some that still look at the things that they think a child will miss in school. Some would say sporting events, I say in turn after football parties with drinking and drugs. Some would say prom, I would say, peer pressure to have sex and drinking and drugs again. It is a very personal choice to homeschool and for me if I'm shielding him from prom and parties I would say that I would lay down my life to protect him from those things and the peer pressure of life as a teen in our society.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
This weekend!
This weekend was Jeremiah and I's 11th anniversary! We got all dressed up and went to dinner and a movie. It was great that we got to do that, it is far and few in between that we get too! But to start out the weekend we got to go shopping (myself, Angela, and Sara) for a dress and jewelry. Got a pretty dress and got to play dress up with the three of us and my mom, who was trying to find something in her stuff that would match the dress. Then after playing Angela, Sara and I got to go to the water park in Chanute to play!!!!! I will add pictures of all the fun too! Then on Saturday I got to go spend time my my mom, sister, niece, and with Damon before he went to work while I was getting ready. Then tonight the boys are fishing while it is a girls' night in, of course, Sara is already in bed and I get to do this and start on my home work. I hope that you all had a blessed weekend like I did and that you have a great week too!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
shopping and playing
Angela, Sara and I went shopping today. I was trying to find a new dress for my anniversary date with Jeremiah Saturday afternoon and evening! We went to Marice's, then to Grandma Letha's house for a break and a search for jewelry. After that we went to Wal-mart. Then we went to have a little fun at the water park, Sara loved it!!! This all happened after I had already went to town and did my grocery shopping. Talk about a busy day. I hope that you all are enjoying the beginning of summer!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Here we go again!
I would really like to give this blog thing one last shot. Maybe use it as a type of therapy to show what we all go through in this little family of mine! I know that no one has it easy these days, but me being me, I always look on the positive side of things so maybe it will make someone else feel better and that their lives aren't so bad. On the other hand maybe you have came to this blog to see what it is like to have two disabled children, to home school, to live a simple life (as much as possible), a Christian life (however, we aren't perfect), to see how a family like ours functions with everything that goes on. So here we go!!!!!
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